[green eyes] I think in order to stop biting my nails, I'll train myself to only bite my thumbnails. This might work, I think. It's gone pretty well today, anyhow. I'm enjoying school. I like laughing at sign language jokes and writing notes to focus in classes. I like cutting and pasting Ross Geller's head onto the head of my English Lit instructor in my mind, to make things so much more interesting. I like breaks, and watching students go by, and seeing how they act. I like the watery French Cappacinno. I like my Intro to Art instructor who reminds me of a turtle. I like how my eyes literally ache from trying so hard to read fingerspelling, those strange, very visual letters. I like having deadlines and boundaries to work around, to challenge me. I like having a certain set of rules and expectations. I just danced a bit and stretched. I like pushing my muscles to tension, challenging my expectations of what I think I can do. The freedom of movement is refreshing, letting one thing flow into the next into the next, and maybe not necessarily having some sort of routine I follow. It's interesting how right now, just after stretching, my leg muscles feel unsteady, and going up stairs requires focus and drive, and I feel as if I've accomplished something. Kanoa is going through a wild streak right now. She's crazy. I think it's the weather, it always drives her crazy when it changes like this. Winter to Summer and back again. Going to college with Tai is pretty fantastic. I realize how fortunate I am to have a sister like her, who is my best friend in every sense of the word. Not only is she someone who I can trust, but she holds me accountable, and encourages me. She's lighthearted, and we always have a good one hour car ride, whether we're fighting over music choices or exchanging our stories from the day. She sure is a talker though. =] I really like the thought of not being defined by a facebook status, or by a "compare people" application. I like the thought of not defining myself as a student, singer, dancer, daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend. I don't want to seek my worth in the way I smell or dress or move or speak. I want my love for others to be a concious choice, not a whim where I spit out "O my word, i love her, she's so nice!" or "Haha, i love that guy, he's so funny." I want my love for God to be a concious choice, and my reflection of that choice to in turn make choices to read my Bible everyday, praying for and with people. I think I've come to a point where I am finally starting to realize the weight of one choice or another, and how many choices I am presented with on a daily basis. Hum... sometimes it just helps if it's all out there. List of goals or something of the sort. My Dad gave me a swell book to read, called "The Death of Meaning." It's a bit intimidating, but so far I've been very intruiged. It's so interesting to see how everything ties together: philosophy that is talked about in this book also makes an appearance as we are studying the French Revolution at college and how that influenced poetry written by Wordsworth and Charlotte Smith and other Romantic poets. It's all connected, and it goes on forever, forwards and backwards. Anyhow. My brain and body are tired. Today I wore a skirt, and I really felt like a girl. I don't think it's ever felt more lovely to be a girl. Anyhow. I should call this a day. If you see my biting my fingernails, give me a sharp rebuke. -christina p.s. yesterday i realized the strange similarity between the dead skin of a snake that comes off in crispy layer, and these turnovers i used to buy at a bakery near our old house in wisconsin. the turnovers always flaked. so... yeah. these are comparisons i make. | 
